Drowning

Mood: Achy, irritated, tired and its not even my period yet.

Horrible start today. Was almost late. (Note Definition of late: Earlier than the rest of the class)
Forgot stuff at home and accidentally deleted my only copy of my tutorial.

I've got assignments all piling up.

God, anxiety is a sin, therefore I shall trust in you to help me clear my assignments Good ya?

Swamped!

Mood: Insulted,Upset and over all in a very negative mood

I was set up to write a post excited and happy because I finally got round to getting a planner.
Thanks to my dad I no longer have the heart to be excited bout it.

So that's my new planner there. Excuse the messiness of my desk. I'm still in the middle of doing my assignments. Especially those due this week.

That's opened up to this week's page. I'm kinda glad (was actually till my dad insulted me) that I got the planner. Back in Secondary school, they give us organisers every year (we have to pay of course) and it helped me alot.

I realised only recently.

Its different from writing in my assignments and plans on a plain notebook with no dates. There's no organisation to it. While with a planner, I can tell immediately which assignments are due soon and finish it up.

Anyway, judging from what I remembered so far, I've got quite a few to finish up for this week! Those are just two of it.

Not to mention the still ongoing assignments due in other weeks. Totally swamped.

I learnt today anxiety is a sin as you're to trust God in everything. My answer to that is,

God helps those who helps themselves.

As for my dad...

Before I touch on that subject, I'd just like to say that my relationship with him is volatile to say the least.

So whatever emotion I feel at whatever he does or say, its never hurt.

I'm passed feeling that emotion. Don't give me that psychological explaination of how the reason why I'm angry/insulted is because I'm hurt. That's textbook. I know how I feel about him.

So what'd he do this time?

Insulted me basically.

I was on the phone and he saw me on the phone. He didn't know who. Later on, he basically said to my mum, and I overheard, that I have a boyfriend and I was talking to other guys and it was the 2nd time I did this, basically insinuating I was lose and on top of that, I cheat on my boyfriend.

I'm angry and insulted. First of all, if he thinks that way of me, and I really am what he thinks I am, I'd already be pregnant or worse have AIDS or STDS.

Second of all, all those nightly phone calls are TO MY BOYFRIEND. I just hate how people make assumptions.

He's a Grade AAA Asshole.

Indulgences

Mood: TGIF! :D

Week one of 2010 is over, the school week at least.
I'm swamped with work, signed up for something which is a waste of time, and the lover might be activated(??) and will be called back to his camp either this weekend or the next.

Yet I'm sickeningly pretty upbeat about it. :D

In order please! :

1. I'm swamped with work

I'm lazy or I have this weird affliction(I believe someone told me its procrastination) of putting off work till the last minute and work myself into a panic.
I do, do work, just the small ones, like tutorials and unimportant neccessary stuff, for example, the new header of my blog! It took me hours. I created bout a total of 3 banners before choosing this one.

2. I signed up for something which is a waste of time.

I've got work (see point number 1) and I signed up to volunteer for my school's open house tomorrow from 12 to 3 because,
i) I get a $4 KFC voucher. _-_-; Hey its better than the other volunteers! They get $4 foodcourt vouchers.
ii) I get CCA points
iii) I heard that after the end of the Open House, we'd get a proper thank you luncheon. (Gosh I'm such a sucker for food)

3. Mr. Wonderful is on standby

Darn it. Anyone up for a Girlfriends left stranded because your NSman has to report back to camp facebook group??
We can have an SMS activation thingy incase a few of us are suddenly left stranded and I don't know? bitch bout it?

On another hand, I've been practicing the art of self-portraiture. I can't really say I like the result. Grainy to say the least, and the model is fat. Grainy part, my fault, I set the ISO too high. By the way, who decided to put ISO levels on Digital cameras?!?! On analogues, sure you need it but a digital?? Do people really want the grainy effect?? Ok I know higher ISO setting is so that you can take indoor photos especially if its dark.
Oh and I being fat, my fault too. I hate Poly life. All work, food and no exercise.

Anyway enough of ramblings, photo time!


As you can I did abit substantial photo editing to mask the fact that its grainy, and I'm fat.

As for this one, sigh, I had no idea why the aperture was so high! So much light! Grr. Unreliable, redundant, bloody, point and shoot camera.


An out-take. A non-edited, extremely grainy photograph. I kinda realise I look way better grainier. LOL. and with my hair down.

So that's it! I know the lover wants to see me in that dress and the only reason why I took these was cos of him.

Self-portraits are too tedious and I'm not exactly photogenic.I don't like to camwhore, well at least post up my photos. I prefer being behind the camera and inane objects as subjects of my photography.

Mr Not-So-Wonderful

Mood: Sad

Sometimes, I delude myself into thinking Mr. Wonderful is Mr. Perfect.

Its not the first time you've made plans with me, forgot about it and made other plans.

Usually, I would just let it go and not be affected at all knowing your nature and have learnt to accept and love it as part of you, but this time, it's like an arrow through my heart.
Why was this time so profound??

Was it because of yesterday evening's conversation still fresh in my mind and still raw?
I'm confused still but I still chose to be with you with a bit of persuasion on your part and I guess that happening is like a slap to my face.

You've apologised and I know you're truly sincere, Why else would I call you my Mr. Wonderful??)

But somehow, you manage to get my guard up. And I don't like putting up this natural instinctive barrier, especially against you.

You're the one person I can truly trust with the exception of Fran and a few others.
You're the only person that knows me so well.

Its all abit confusing right now to whoever is reading this. So am I.
Tomorrow I'll be seeing Mr. Wonderful and we'll see what happens from there.

1/52 Love Trail

Love Trail, originally uploaded by junsuina.

So here is my first photo of Project 52! What do you think?

Taken with many lousy point and shoot camera, the Canon Ixus 65.

I just really hope I can keep it up!

Ok, I've put it off for as long as I can

Mood: Resolved

*Take a deep breath*

Okay, here's my resolution

1. Not be late for class (yea right, but great start for the year where I was earlier than most! :D)

2. Project 52! Ever heard of Project 365?
Well a photo a day is quite a daunting task. I tried, so a photo a week for a year seems more manageable and less daunting. So wish me luck!

3. Work out twice a week. Simple enough, I have Dominic to ask me to go gym twice a week. :D

4. Learn the guitar. Been wanting to since aeons ago. Just that aeons ago never got round. Maybe today. Definitely this year.

5. Keep a budget of my expenses. Why? then maybe if I knew how much I spend, I'll cut down and learn how to,

6. Save at least $200 and not touch it at all.

7. Make conscious effort to review my modules! Especially for this term. Think Adela.

8. Take care of my skin especially around my eyes, I'm no longer young. D:

9. 12 months, 12 craft project. I love crafting. Making my own stuff. And maybe most of you think, crafting is so old school. Well old school is the new school, and you have no idea how many amazing cool crafts people make out there and feature it on crafting community websites, like craftster. Besides I'm of buying mass produced items. Its nice once in a while to own something unique and truly one of a kind.

10. Ease up on the electronic gadgetry and the alluring, glamourous world of the internet. Seriously. I spend waay too much time online or playing games. 5 hours in a day and slowly decrese that.
Not counted: Research for assignments. No choice, must go online. Doesn't mean I shall blog less often. In fact, the lover, says I should blog more often.

So that's my resolution for the year. :D A little tip to everyone. Failing one doesn't mean you should just cancel it out. You can't change within a day.

WTF?! No Chivalry at all in men in SG!

Okay first of all, POOR POOR DUMB GIRL. She may have chosen to go to a party, but she definitely didn't ask for that. Tell me do you go out to party and ask those guys to squeeze my boobs and pull down my bikini bottoms?!

Do you idiotic men out there go to party and see a woman with a meat cleaver wearing a t-shirt that says, 'I collect dicks for a hobby' then go up to her to offer yours.

No one wants that.

2nd of all the males' opinion disgusts me. 'Just Watch' why? 'Singaporean lah'

Assholes. If I saw you idiots about to get your little brothers chopped, I'd show you this video, and laugh.
(even though I'm not Singaporean and that is the worst excuse ever you pig)

It doesn't matter if she chose to be there or not, someone should have saved her. I'd get really pissed off, and kicked those fucking idiots in their balls cos they don't deserve them.

I repeat my statement, NO ONE DESERVES THAT and she deserves all the help she can get. Maybe we should consider chivalry 101 to be taught in schools.