Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Blog Discussions: Where is the love? Haters, Cyberstalkers and In-betweens

I've been lucky so far, or maybe because my pool of readers is just too small but I've never had a hater on my blog before. I have heard of horror stories and to tell you the truth, an action can make or break you in the blogosphere.

I believe that Haters/Blogger thing is two-way.

So first of all let's discuss what a Hater is?

A hater is a person who hates. (lol)
He/She leaves nasty comments or sends you nasty email stating things like,
"you're a whore/bastard/bitch (insert ugly adjective here)" for some reason or another
His/her aim is to demoralize/belittle/insult etc.

Haters are also often Criticizers but Criticizers can be categorized into two types. Malicious Criticizers and Constructive Criticizers. The former is also a form of being a Hater.

Here's an example,

Malicious Criticizers: Omg, such a nice top! Too bad it makes you look fat

Constructive Criticizers: Oh wow what a wonderful top but I don't think it does justice to your wonderful figure, why not try something with an empire neckline?"

Altho Constructive Criticism can sometimes be a subtle form of Malicious Criticism but that's up to you to discern if it is or if it is not.

So how would you handle a Hater or A Malicious Criticizer?

If I ever encountered one, I guess what I'll do is,

1. Email them to ask them why they feel that way of me and what have I done/said/written that makes them feel that way.

2. If they can't justify/explain/give a ridiculous reason, I'll warn them saying that if they feel that way, they should stop reading my blog and stop posting such comments.
3. If they persist, I'll moderate their comments and even ban them if need be.

I don't feel that there is a need to moderate the comments I received. More on this later.

So how would you handle if you find yourself with a hater? I would love to hear from you.

Next part of the discussions,

(Image by Omar Noory)

How to avoid all the hate, or at least have a well meaning discussion?

Being a blog owner to me means that,

1. My blog is place for my own opinions and actions
2. What I write/say/do, I'm responsible for my actions
3. I respect the opinion of my readers

I guess some of us bloggers have a misconception that, your blog being your blog means that you're entitled to your opinion and get pretty defensive if someone says otherwise. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Well to tell you the truth, if you feel that way, write your thoughts in a journal away from the very public eye of the world wide web.

The question is, do you want a blog based on controversy, being at odds with your readers/commenters all the time with having to defend your opinion?

 I like my comments to be a place of discussion. My post is to state my opinion and the comments page, the debate arena for my readers to state why they agree or disagree with me. Either way, I respect their opinions.

Your readers are bloggers too.

Remember the above. Being a blogger means you get your say. You can change the public opinion of things, but it goes both ways. Meaning, your reader if offended by your comments can blog about you, altho I believe that isn't the way of how things should be handled.

Some bloggers to counter negative comments, moderate the comments received, only publishing those that are positive. This in itself I find suspicious. I feel that the blogger has something to hide. Not all do have things to hide, some moderate because of spam and I understand that.

So now, I'd love to hear your opinion! All opinions and constructive criticism are welcome! This is definitely a topic worth discussing.

(PS, to see previous discussions, click here)


  1. well it depends on how you wanna do the approach. Some ppl just wanna blog for fun and some ppl wanna attack other bloggers to earn easy money... as for me, as long as I can blog about my personal life and also getting paid... i wont be creating much problem to anyone unless it's a complaint post... The picture of blogging on paper is funny! :D

  2. Hatred cannot be avoid just like stupidity are everywhere too. When others are being immature and ridiculous that they have to resort to anonymous malicious comments, they might just have a bad day and use you as a tool to vent their anger on. I would rather keep my cool and not say anything about the comments and their anger will soon go away = they won't bother about me anymore.

    The more you try to get head on with them, the more they will get agitated and attack you more, JUST because you responded. Your reactions are food towards their hatred.

    My best way to avoid haters: IGNORE. haha.

  3. @Henry Haha! I guess you won't get disturbed much but haters have such weird motivations sometimes, so you never know. And yes I started blogging on paper, in dinosaur speak I used to write a diary.

    @Ruiting Thanks for sharing! I guess if you've tons of haters ignorance is bliss, but my aim in confronting them nicely has an underlying motivation. Its to kill them with niceness, come out of the situation as being mature & dare I say "noble"? Either way, my aim is to make haters feel like they're bad people and to turn public opinion in my good favour. (Yes I think like a politician haha) :D


Comments are always welcome! :)


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