I'm still not sure how much I should reveal and how much should I hold back in this post without being to vague.
Love is a very very confusing emotion.
And Touch is a very comforting thing when you're feeling vulnerable.
I never knew the extent of my vulnerability and how badly affected I truly was till earlier today on the bus home.
It was my breaking point and the flood gates were released.
I guess the lack of sleep, the morning argument and the horible feeling of restriction were the substances and what happened on the bus home was the catalyst for the paroxysm of tears.
Just resting my head on Mr. Wonderful's shoulders after not spending so little time with him for two weeks was bliss.
And I started crying on his shoulder. He of course asked why but I couldn't at that moment give him an explaination
It was only much later, when I wrote in our blog, I sorted out my thoughts and feelings and found out why.
And I started crying all over again.
Mr. Wonderful read our blog when he reached home, called me and told me,
"I love you so much"
And that of course started a fresh wave of tears.
I was so so exhausted by then but it took quite awhile for me to fall asleep.
When I woke up, I went to play the playlist of songs that reminds me of him. I could have saved myself the torture by not doing so but I did and of course cried again.
I seem to like to torture myself.
The next time I see Mr. Wonderful, I'll be asking him of one thing. I can't reveal it yet cos I don't want him to find out also.
P.S. If you do try and look for our blog, good luck. Its not under the account I use for this blog and its privatised. There are just somethings I like to keep to myself and not for the world to read.